Police as they say are the protector of the people! But for me not at all, there might be good policemen but it would be 3 percent of the whole population of the police force. I have encountered so many times about how police really do play their role as the so-called protectors (but actually robbers and thieves). Just recently i had this friend who was captured because of something he wasn’t really supposed to be involved with. But this group of police seemed to hear the cry of my friend not to put him to prison because he didn’t knew about it! They played as if they were the good guys…So they offered to help him “let’s help him man its not worth his future, with the quote (We’ll help you, but you help us also)” It was BULLSHIT kind of help…they meant to ask for money in return to let him go! they asked my friends family for 50,000 PESOS… the family asked to lower the amount they wanted so they said “okay because we are “good people” we understand your situation so we will make it 30,000 PESOS) sounded like a good deal huh? Well it was an enormous amount of money that they needed…So my poor friends family had to look for money in just a matter of 3-5 hours because they were pressured by the policemen… I didn’t actually knew he was in MAHARLIKA – the name of the police precinct in carmen here in the city not until i called him thought he was dating or something, he asked me to go see him there, i was bit confused of what I’m going to do because i don’t have any idea what I’ll be dealing with when i go there! But i hesitantly went home and brought a jacket with me! when i saw him i was disappointed, angry (actually had a mixed emotion) i didn’t know what i’ll do with him, we talked and i asked him about what happened,he said he was called by a friend who said he needed his help, so when he went to where his friends at, his friend had another guy with him and he hand him something in a piece of paper “IT WAS SHABU” when it was in his hands he asked what is this because it was covered in the paper he didn’t have any idea what was inside until he opened it and saw whats inside and then the police was at his back and said “DONT MOVE WE’RE THE POLICE”, he said that at that time he felt all his dreams were black and white… but he asked these group of police to help him because he didn’t knew it was “DRUGS” they were like as if they really wanted to help him…but no everything was planned, those two guys were “ASSETS” of the police. and so it was already 2:00 o’clock in the morning and i was there giving him comfort, and we fell asleep sitting and heads leaning on the table. at 3 in the morning his uncle and aunt Emma the sister of his mom arrived with the 30,000 PESOS, he was scolded with very rough words, they didnt want to believe him…I pity him that he was driven away by his family and relatives..i am the only person he can talk to now…And now my head is aching… I hope that the government will make a move about this kind of policemen… THOUGH THE GOVERNMENT IS ALSO CORRUPT…I just hate Philippine Government..all are corrupt, robbers and thieves…I wish there would be changes…wish good people are the ones in government..All are just greedy for anything and wants everything on hand…

life is short and there are guarantees that I've
learned that you cannot make someone love you. all you
can do is be someone who can be loved. the rest is up
to them. I've also learned that no matter how much i
care, some people just don't care back. I've learned
that no matter what the consequences are, those who
are honest with theirselve's, get further in life it is
high time for us to ask ourselves, evaluate ourselves
if we've been honest with our dealings or are we just
playing around and passing the time? Do we trust
ourselves with fragile subjects such as friendship,
love, commitment and the like? How strong are we in
our conviction, in our faith? How sure are we that
this is what we really wanted in life? Could it be
that we are just fooling ourselves looking for the
easy answers to the emptiness inside us? I've learned
that we don't have to change friends if we understand
friend’s change. It is human growth. We change for the
better. that's the way of life. We are not stagnant, we
are continuously evolving. we are changing. What can
you expect with others and our dealings? it is good if
we grow together, but what if we don't? i still can
recall that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief, life must go on.
         happiness is a product of realization one
must allow himself to go through a process to feel
happiness. accept the pains. you must get in touch
with your situation. sometimes people deny their
hardship, thinking that if they don't free them, they
will be happier. but its another way around. allow
yourself to go through the pain, choose not to stay in
pain. they say this is "self empowerment" you can
either be bitter about the pains or feel very
powerless or you can do something and feel powerful
enough to handle them. its a choice to live with or
without pain. forgive yourself, other people. but
before forgiveness comes in, think how other people
hurt. then realize that you can see yourself for what
you actually are and not how they want you to be. so
finding happiness is no longer rooted outside, but
inside you what you see, how you view things, what you
want. then it leads to your choice: to live your life
with yourself. take responsibility for your life. we
sometimes allow ourselves to let other people,
circumstances, or pains in the past to rule lives. so
we became  very unhappy and very bitter because we
live blaming others on who we are, where were at, or
how we should be. its an exhausting process because
you'll forever  be blaming other people...

TO BE CONTINUED...

i was reading my friends blog and was really amazed and fascinated to what she wrote…

this day was not an ordinary day for me..there was something about this day!

i did my work and stuff…did some emails and checked some other stuff like myspace, friendster, and all!

one thing is missing in my life…it is to be happy…and i just dont know what could make me really happy…i dreamed about my boyfriend-boyfriend… lols..what a term huh!? emailed him about my dream..it wasnt something naughty..(lols…)

i am unsure now of everything in life..it seems that i dont know anything about my friends now…it seems like there are things that are happening to them that i dont know…im not used to that..i try to be updated about things around me..about my family and my friends and my neighbors..hahaha…

i just dont know why things are this way now…one thing is missing also is that my very close friend toto is out of reach… i think he has something going on! it hurts alot… i wish someone could talk to me…helppppppppppppppppppppppppp…………………

My brother woke me up this morning to ask for something, it has been a nice day so far! I’ve ate my breakfast and slept back, at 11a.m i tried to fix everything, myself and my things…

Went to a boutique to buy some clothes and went back home, and then have to go to work…So it was quarter to two in the afternoon and i was in a hurry in going to the office. And i was 5 minutes late…

So i did my WOJO, my YM and some other stuff… i got some online messages from my friend and was sad to know about what had happened…I almost cried because i know i’m gonna miss him! Then i try to work my ass out with my work routine… you know, collecting links and the like… But i’m disturbed by what has been happening to my surroundings…I can’t concentrate because of my friend resigning from work, can’t concentrate because of some matters in my life that i dont want to open up for i know i would cry over it. How i wish things weren’t this much, wish things weren’t this screwed up!

I never thought my day would be a sad one… I just ask for one thing now, to be happy with those people I love, and to enjoy life again! its so hard enjoying life when you’re disturbed by some things which are important to you! But i know someday i’ll be happy as i want to be with the man of my dreams… To be with him would be the greatest thing that would happen to me! It’s gonna be life itself! And i promise to love him forever and ever! To my friends..i’ll always treasure each and every moment we have and we’ll have! I love you friends…

Have you lost someone so dear to you? I just recently lost my GRANDMOTHER, the one who took care of me when i was just a few days old because my parents were fighting because of jealousy of my mom! I can still remember all the things ive done and felt everytime im with my grandmother, even when way back 15 years ago when my grandFATHER was still alive, i can still recall when i was with them for a week and when its time to sleep, my grandMOM always put everything on place for me, the pillows, the HABOL, because in TALISAYAN its cold early in the morning, but i never felt that shivering feeling, my grands always joke on me that i should sleep outside the house to really feel the coldness of the weather there. I just can remember how poor my grands were. I had so many memories with them. Even when im doing this blog i cant help but cry. Tears just fell like water flowing from the faucet. I felt so bad when my grandmother died last week. it was a terrible loss for me because i love her so much. I got so many plans for her in the future. how i just wish i can stop that time of her dying. She means a lot to me and i just cant believe that shes gone. theres no more reason why ill go to TALISAYAN in unimportant dates.The last time i was with her was last HOLY WEEK when i went there with CATHY, APRIL, and MANANG…I always see MAMA happy everytime she sees me…and im sorry MAMA for not appreciating that time.MAMA i will never forget you and you reciting the rosary every 6pm and 6am daily and ill never forget what youve done for me… MAMA i love you so much and im sorry for everything that i wasnt able to do for you… I hope youre happy now with PAPA LALOy.THanks For EVEryThINg… MAMA i will miss you so much, i just hope TIYO RUEL will be able to know about your death soon! MAMA may you rest in peace and harmony in the presence of the LORD…I will pray for you always…

Has a person told you to choose from lover or friends? I believe most has experienced that kind of thing, specially when you’re too close with your friends and at the same time your lover… Doesn’t it seem sweet when your lover gets jealous, but never good when he/she gets jealous with your friends. I mean come on, friends are always there for you…Mine are, i hope you have the same friends like mine..lol…But LOVERS never tend to give much comfort, maybe for others but most LOVERS are just missing the concept of “I need you now because i feel alone, I need you now because i need you.. No questions asked..” sometimes friends are irritating, specially when your friends are the kind who just want to get drunk all the time..or just want to have fun most of the time.. Me and my friends ussually balance our time from work and fun..before school and fun! LOL…char PRofessional nami! whew..sometimes we overdo things which makes things from best to worst..Some people really dont know how to define FRIENDS… I hope you’re not one of them! Ive been through thick and thin with my friends…(e.g. ean: nasumbagan, joven: nagipit-naholdup-nailad, cathy-heartache. carl-new career, apple-family, pacita-lovelife, and many others…LOL) but never in my life did i think of rejecting my friends…they will always be my friends..I actually got lots and lots of friends. Most are close to me. and if ill name them one by one you’ll be spending 2 hours reading this blog! LOLWROTF (Laughs Out Loud While Rolling On The Floor) Even though time would be different somehow we will always stay the same, we will still be friends..beware of your plastic friends…they’ll ruin your life..and a little advice to those people… SCREW YOU!!!

Do you still remember when was the first time you fell in love? or had a crush? or had an MU at school or elsewhere?

Well you’ll be surprised if ill tell you i still remember who was my first crush, where and why i liked that guy! not knowing he was my cousin! hahahaha… yeah we both liked each other or we call that MU (murag unggoy) hahahaha… so i was 7 years old that time, so what? naa koy right oi! bisan bata naa right maka crush! atleast crush rato..hahahaha!

So much for that! when i reached high school i had my first suitor, before that courting thing i liked that guy, but when he courted me, i was like ewwwww… i dont like you anymore..though when he said the L word my heartbeat was as fast as the ticking of the clock…diba nice ang feeling..pero murag unsa mani oi! kulbaan man ko! hahahahha…laina au adto na feeling oi!..hehehe…hadlok sad ta…

When i graduate from high school i never had a boyfriend, but when i went for a vacation at my grannies place, there i met this young guy! younger than i am like 2 years i guess, and before he formally courted me i didnt really get this feeling of love for him, but when i went home and received a letter from him, i felt like he was someone i want to be with for the rest of my life. and then after several months later i went back to my grannies and there we became lovers ( uyab na daw mi) ehehehehe… i loved him jud…bisan bata pako..hahaha…wala pakoy buot ug uban pa…pero tinoud ang among relationship! serious galore mi! he didnt want me to go back home but i have to..skwela baya ko..para sa atong future..hahahha… after two days back in cdo i was really happy to see him with my cousin.. wow akong knight in shining armor, hahahaha..grabe kaau ko ka happy that time… we went to places and he was with me most of the time, uban siya sako sa school, sa party sakong friends and other stuff. happy jud mi..PDA pa jud mi! bwahahahah..hangal2 na kabayo! hehehehe… sad thing was he was going back to Talisayan na after that time so we just have to let go of each other…

after him i had other bf’s na dayon! i was hurt, stabbed at the center of my heart… pero sa iya ra jud ko nihilak nga ass in for two days…after that i promised not to cry anymore for a guy! so i did pero na break na sya sa akong bf from zamboanga, i tried na maserious balik sa relationship, but he was so immature, so i have to let go…na emotional ko during our relationship especially our break up! grabe jud, but then we are still friends now… most of my bf’s friends jud gyapon nako! thats the nice thing there…

Right now, im afraid to love again, im afraid that id be hurt again! kapoy naman gud..sige hilak..though how would you know if you wont try…pero sige ka try samot kag kabuang ani! hahahahaha…for now im just waiting for the right guy nalang jud…naa na unta right guy..pero dili na pwede…grabe ka sakit pero i cant do anything jud…except kung …haaha….yaw nalang..hehehehe….JOHN? ambot dili paman ko ready mo commit oi! hadlok ko, especially he is one of the guys next door type raba…hadlok ko na useless lang gyapon akong tears para niya…pero he is good to me, dli pa lang jud ko ready to commit with him…i hope na if ever maready ko..kadto na jud siya..its so hard to face another relationship and i would just end up crying and waiting again for another guy!

hahay, ka emote ba oi! alang man sad akong mga music kay mga mellow, love songs… haller…theres just no easy way to break somebody’s heart…unsa naman ni oi! hehehehe…love of my life pa jud ni jim brickman! saon nalang ni! lami ihikog..hahahha..hopefully ihatag na ni lord ang guy for me…not soon..pero the time na ready nako!

i hope napulutan niyo ng aral ang story ko! hehehehehe… maalaala or magpakailanman…hahahahhaha …chge kay mouli nako! kapoy nako sakong training..hehehehe…asa man tong mga friends nako oi!…

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