I’ve been holding on to a relationship that I know that will never have a guarantee that it will work out. We were friends for two years before we became lovers. It was all fun for the first two or three months. and after that it became complicated to handle. There are so many quotes I know about love. But none I ever manage to keep. I always try to hold on with our relationship, even if its the last thing i should be doing. Several months have passed again and still I’m trying to hold into the relationship I want to work out. It never is easy if you’re the only one holding on, while the other keeps on bragging about parting ways. He is mostly hot headed and high pride. I am always the one trying to make him calm and always patient to make things go as easy as it should be. Not until today that I realize I need to think about myself and to really let him go. It was never that easy. I cried and cried and cried because I don’t want to loose him but then it’s way too much. For two days we didn’t talked nor message each other. And when he texted me a message about love and friendship. I replied to him saying that I am thankful for everything he’ve done for me and for whatever reason i should be thankful about him. He told me he is going online so i said okay let’s chat and see each other on cam. At first I thought it was over for me crying but when I saw his face. I found myself crying. He calms me down but I don’t know why tears just fall that much. after 30 minutes we bid our goodbyes and then he called me and he cried. He said he was sorry to hurt me a lot of times and that he still love me so much and missed me a lot. I told him it’s okay I understand, I just have one favor to ask. Don’t leave me, even just as a friend.

For now we still constantly chat and talk on phone, it’s as if we are still on with each other. We still say I love you’s and I miss you’s to each other. He still calls me baby and i still call him that.  I  just hope that in time I will handle when he will really be gone not forever but as my loved one.